Ice Jewels Vol.4 special interview before start of season

Signs of Evolution~

After World Championship (2016) to start of practice:
 
-After WC ended and you went back to Toronto, how did you spend your days?

Hanyu: I rested quietly. Walking was not allowed, so I did not go out. I did my studies earnestly, I think. (laughs) Other things were like playing games, reading manga and listening to music.

– What were your feelings then?

I wanted to move as soon as possible. I just wanted to skate.

– You didn’t feel depressed?

I did, I was very down. In the 1st 2 to 3 weeks, because I did not move my body at all, I know my muscles were going down and fat was building up, I was very depressed.

– Was it also because you could not get the medal that was expected at Worlds?

Yes, it was. After the competition, for about 2 weeks, every night, every night, I had dreams of the competition. In the dreams, I lost the competition every time. But I cannot remember what kind of performance I did. Every time, I lost, I went for the banquet, I returned to the hotel room, and I was crying. I kept having that kind of dream.

– I think the staff around you felt the same. But of course, it was hardest on you….

Because it was a competition where I had a lead in the short programme. But I was not able to do what I could do at practice and this frustration/regret (‘kuyashi-sa’) is different from the frustration/regret that I had last year.
Last year, although I had that certain amount of practice, there was still a feeling that I did not have complete practice in some area, so I had regrets that I failed due to that. This time, even though I had complete practice, even with that, I make mistakes here? it is this kind of feeling of frustration.
It is true that I had pain in my foot, and the practice period started late, but I did lots of practice and thanks to that, I could perform with no mistakes every day. That is why I was frustrated that I could not skate well at competition.

–Is it the feeling that it should not have been like this?

More than that, I had a sense of loss.

–Last season’s pain in the foot, when did it start?

Before Skate Canada. During Autumn Classic, I could not land the quad that was in the 2nd half, so I practised fervently. It was from that time. From there, the condition of my foot became strange.
After Worlds ended, I had to rest for one and a half months; on the day of the exhibition, I skated with the feeling like this was the last skate of my life.
If I don’t recover properly from the injury, it would affect the next season greatly. Actually, it is still not totally healed, but I am putting in effort as best as I can to make it good.

–Did you think of not competing this season to let your foot heal?

That thought was there. About a month after the start of practice, I still could not jump much, I thought I would not be in time for this season. The choreography would not be in time and the 'skating-in’ would be way too insufficient. But at that time, the first thing I thought about was the demerits of resting for one season.

–Is it hard to maintain the 'competition feeling’ when you rest for a long time?

Yes, it is. From what I have seen, athletes/skaters who come back after one season of rest had a hard time, so I thought I certainly do not want that.

June, practice starts:
 
–From the period of total rest, the doctor said it is ok to practise little by little, how was your body when you started practice?

It was worse than I thought, my body could not move. 2 months of not skating at all had a great effect. Of course, to some degree, jumps can be practised on land, but the feeling on land and the feeling on ice is very different.

–Were you anxious?

I was very anxious. At the beginning of June, even skating I could not do, so that period I was especially anxious. Going onto the ice, I could not practise jumps at first; then later, I tried jumping and I could not do it at all. My feelings then were really shaky.

–At a time like that, what were you aware of?

My body could not do the movements that I am thinking of and it put a strange burden on the body and became muscle ache/pain. Strange places started to be in pain.
On the other hand, it was a mental problem. By chance, I saw a programme on TV that was about stress, where stress comes from and how it affects the body, and coincidentally, a professor from my school, Waseda University, was in it. From there, I read books about stress and searched about it on the internet, and gradually my feelings calmed down.
But at the end, in order to recover, what is the most important thing? What is the thing that I can do now? I thought about that. And I think it is because I set my mind on those things that I could recover to this point.

–After the period of rest, when you started jump practice again, it was a single rotation jump at first?

Yes.

–All types of jumps? Axel too?

I could not do the axel; I did a single loop or just jumping upwards, that kind of practice. At first, the only jump I could do was the loop. One day, 3 single loops, and practice was over, it felt like that. Ahh~ I can’t even jump something like this, I thought. It was really tough.
However, precisely because I could not do jumps properly, I had lots of time to think about it theoretically; and what I learned from there, I could put to practical use in the rink, I turned to thinking in that way.
But still, it was a situation of intense ups and downs. 2 months of not skating, it was a start from minus. Things I had been able do up to now, I could no longer do. Why can’t I do it? Is that correct? Is this correct? I was over-thinking about many things. I did not know what was correct anymore.

–Brian Orser said it was not something to be that worried about….

I was landing some of my jumps, but there was a huge difference between the times that I could do it and the times that I couldn’t. There were days that I could jump just by luck, on those days all jumps were landed. But on days that I couldn’t jump, my body did not tighten up, I could not tighten up my body when I jumped. Of course, the lucky part was also part of my own abilities. There were issues of muscle strength, but in the end, it was an issue of skills/technique and feelings. The skills did not accompany me at all.

–Did the body forget it all?

Not that it forgot; the head was giving proper instructions, but the body did not move according to that image. That was the toughest part.
I did all sorts of research and probed into the theories, but standing in the rink at the end, I still could not do it, and so I did even more research. The result was that the solution was found but it could not be reflected well in the skating. Conversely, when I was not thinking of anything and somehow just absentmindedly skating, suddenly I could do it. So, the things I have done until now, what is right, what is not right, I do not know, and I was even more depressed. It was like this over and over again.

–While continuing with your daily practice, what kind of trigger made your condition return to normal?

Maybe thinking that if I practise recklessly, I will injure myself again and the same thing will be repeated. Actually, thanks to the advice and support of the coaching team at Cricket Club, I could return to normal condition.
Coach Tracy Wilson could sense that my face was getting more and more grim. She sensed that, in the end, it was not my body that I was forcing into a corner but my feelings/spirit/state of mind. So Tracy took great care of me in that area. She also helped me to correct the problems in my jump technique, so I could return to the condition that was planned. The power of a coach is really great. Just seeing it from my own viewpoint and within my own image boundary, I am not able to solve the problem. As such, it is necessary to have various points of view. That is the good thing about Cricket Club’s training environment, and this time, I think I really made the most of that.

–Not only when the condition is good, but when the condition is bad, there are things to learn, isn’t it?

I thought, this period of not being able to jump, will it continue like that for one year? Will I go into a slump? I was very troubled. The start of skating after a period of rest is extremely difficult. Injury, then rehabilitation, the season after returning to the rink is very difficult. 'Skating-in’ is not enough, stamina is lacking, techniques have gone down, there are many problems. But this time, in a sense, the bad effects were limited to as little as possible. The injury was on the left foot, so I could do different jumps, and I was saved in that way. If it was the right foot, I would not be able to do anything, and I might have felt a fear of landing. So the fortunate out of the unfortunate is that it was the left foot, I can think that I have not yet been abandoned by God.

–After overcoming the injury, facing the new season, results and techniques go up smoothly, the foot problem was not in vain, it is good if you can think in that way.

Athletes who have recovered from injury sometimes say in interviews, “The period of rest was not wasted.” I think these words can only be said by people who have succeeded; they cannot be said by people who did not succeed. Honestly speaking, when I think again about whether those 3 months before Worlds were a waste, I have thought to the extent that they were a total waste, and I hate that. Now in the midst of going towards the Olympics, if I succeed at the Olympics, I think I can say the preparation before the Worlds that I did not win, was not in vain. Now I am accumulating it day by day, so that I will be able to think what I went through at that time was not wasted, that I have done what I should do. Not every second or minute, or one good thing a day, but to build up one by one, to gain confidence, I think that is very important.

- translated by  yuzusorbet.tumblr.